When I decided to study abroad in Spain I felt prepared for the distinctive accent; we learned in our language classes at Wesleyan how the “c” could morph into a “th”, and we listened for the softness of the consonants. I took courses with several professors from Spain and knew how to distinguish between their pronunciation and the pronunciation of my other professor from Mexico. I was, of course, nervous about using the wrong tenses or not knowing certain vocab, but, it wasn’t until I got to Spain that I realized just how much I still had to learn. My slow, polished, and academic Spanish could only get me so far and within the first week of orientation my Mexican friend told me I sounded like Siri. As I had only ever practiced the language in a classroom context I had no basis for slang or filler words; therefore, my resulting conversations felt stiff and robotic. It went past what I thought was ‘good Spanish’ and opened the language up past accent training. Tonality, manners, and humor went right out the window as I entered my host family’s apartment; not to mention the fact that Madrid Spanish felt incredibly blunt and abrasive. I was a guest in a stranger’s home, a stranger who was feeding me and taking care of me as I acclimated to a new city, and I felt like I had no way to fully show my gratitude. “Por favor” and “gracias” were the most used words in my vocabulary but, I didn’t know how to slip in an equivalent to “if it’s not too much trouble” or “if it’s not an inconvenience”. It wasn’t that I didn’t have the translations available, but more that in Madrid I couldn’t find a commonly used Spanish version of these phrases. Moreover, my attempts to directly transfer linguistic politeness only seemed to create more confusion with my host mom. After several weeks I gradually learned that the ‘blunt’ and ‘abrasive’ language culture of Madrid, was actually deliberate directness of the people there. It felt incredibly refreshing to just state your requests, or say yes and no as a full sentence instead of dancing around what might be the most comfortable answer for both people. I could not have been more wrong about the ‘abrasiveness’ I first felt in Madrid. People were more than happy to engage with me, or listen patiently in the park as I grasped for the right word; but, if you wanted something you only needed to ask plainly. As I went back to my suburban hometown, I again noticed how people tiptoed around what they wanted to say. While this is certainly more familiar, and at times comfortable for me linguistically, I realized that my exposure to Spanish while abroad instilled a new confidence to be direct. Moreover, I learned an invaluable lesson outside of the classroom; that so much of language learning is non-verbal, or about tones and tendencies. Language and local customs comprehension is an absolute necessity in order to understand and connect with the people around you.
